Reflections on motherhood...

One of the things in my life that I am learning to embrace more and more is who I used to be compared to who I am now. I think this will be something that I continue to enjoy and witness as the years go by. There is one aspect in particular that really demonstrates to me how just plain clueless I was and that is motherhood.

Last night as I lay cuddling in my bed with my little sunshine I thought about all of the things I swore I would never do. I remember even when I was pregnant and hearing children screaming in the grocery store thinking about how that would never be my child or even talking to my friends about how I would lay down the law in this way or that way with my unborn child. Here I am almost three years into this whole motherhood thing and I have no idea what I was thinking back then! I have the Juliana and I have our own rhythm in this world and that no other mother daughter duo in this world can be just like we are. I learned that we have an understanding and that we get each other. She knows not to horseplay with me or to talk back but she knows that she can horseplay with the Fechos and her dad and she knows that sometimes I make mistakes when telling her what to do and is learning how to respond without talking back(most of the time). She also learned how to wrap me around her little finger, perhaps not as well as she has learned to wrap her daddy, her Mimi or her grandma around her finger but it really is shocking how good she is at her craft.

I think that the most exciting thing about learning how to be a mother to this wonderful little girl is thinking what's to come. I remember picturing what our relationship would be like when she was just a baby. I planned certain things like getting fancy together, doing hair and painting nails and putting on glittery dresses :-) I didn't plan however to be looking at bugs up close and personal or to be watching my daughter sing into a mirror channeling her inner soul singer. I didn't plan being a mother to an artsy nature girl. I think that this is the path we are headed on and I realize now that I am okay with that. I think that entering into the world of motherhood is like no other transition has been in my life. My life post-Juliana has certainly been a roller coaster but if given the option to do it all over again there is no doubt in my mind that I would get on this ride a million times over!